Are You Comparing?

"Comparison is the thief of joy".

Who hasn't ever felt the social pressure to achieve an unrealistic standard of thinness? Modern Western culture encourages women to weigh less than what is considered healthy. This means that most women cannot attain what society considers the “ideal” female form without significant food deprivation, excessive exercising, and in severe cases resorting to eating disorders.

Every woman I know, including myself, has struggled with poor body image. Swinging from one range to another in perceptions of themselves. "Attributes perceived as beautiful vary with the eye of the beholder and are subject to cultural and individual preferences. Fashion designers, for example, sell their ideals of beauty via waiflike models. These sinewy women who line the fashion catwalks and appear in fashion magazines stand in stark contrast to the majority of U.S. women". 'Aint that the truth. . .

I want you to repeat it with me. Women come in all shapes and sizes. In all body types. And in all different qualities.

Why go through life nit picking and pinching problem areas and scrutinizing yourself in every which way and in every which direction? That is not fair to you! But it strongly begs the question, who are you allowing to influence the way you view yourself? We are all influenced by what we look at and what we view as "the ideal" body type. As a teenager I gave Bulimia and Anorexia a good run. I was influenced to believe that I wasn't pretty at my weight. I went through many years of hating my body. Of sucking in my stomach and hating my flat chest. Dreading buying new clothes. In disbelief that someone thought I was pretty, marrying that person, and still hiding from him. lol And let's not even go into the looks department on hair, eyes, lips, whatever! That was another realm in itself! Oi Vay!

It wasn't until pretty recently that I started to love my body. But I had to work hard to do this. I had to make some strong mental shifts in perception and do a great deal of self-talk each day, every day. I changed who I followed and thought of as "Fitspo's" on Instagram and Facebook. I had to start following women who were loving their bodies and eating real food, and working out with heavy weights and no more cardio bunny sweaty post workout selfies popping up in my newsfeed throwing mild depression my way about myself. Placing self doubt in my head as a person that I just wasn't "good enough". Asking my husband what he loved about me helped a little bit, yes, but really, I needed to change how I felt about myself inside. And eventually, after working on it for a while, guess what? I stopped hating. I started to view myself and think...I've had two pregnancies, nursed both my babies, I've never been able to not get through a workout. I've paced along my husband on the weekends, I can throw my youngest kiddo in the air and still give my 9 year old piggy back rides... sooooo, why am I mentally destroying myself with comparison? Once I learned to eat right and eat for my goals is when my results really were catapulted. But even after that change started, I still was dissatisfied. I really needed to fix this. I couldn't live anymore with those horrible thoughts every day.

It's so different when you start fueling your self image with positivity than negativity. I'm not going to compare my body with anyone else's. Even those who are naturally "weight gain worry-free". And we all have those friends in our circles. But girl, it's all good!! And you shouldn't either. Because you know what? I know that I can do burpees for 90 seconds. I know I can bust out 30 push ups in 30 seconds. I can do jumping lunges for 40 seconds straight and beat my score the next time around. I can lift as heavy as I want so long as I put my mind to it, and I eat for my fitness goals. I can even train harder than my husband (okay, I can't lift heavier than him, but out training him is really cool and I totally have bragging rights in this house!!) What will you say to yourself that will fuel your motivation and your appreciation of YOUR body?

We are coming from a new breed of women who are working hard to become athletically inclined and we should be darn proud of that! If you are bustin butt in your workouts each time, and the weight you focus on are not the numbers staring back at you from the bathroom floor but the ones you hold in your two hands then good lord woman, stand up and be proud of your body! It's long overdue that you love you for all the wonderful things you ARE doing and the amazing ability your body has to perform and work as hard as you want it to! No more comparison. Do not hold your value in the hands of societies "standards of beauty". Be the chick with quads. Be the one who's shoulders draw attention and inspiration. Wiggle into your jeans with pride (I do the pants dance every morning!) and do a lot more lovin' on yourself. In the words of Dr. Suess,